The Process of Forgiveness

shareasimage(10)As humans, we all  go through situations where we have to decide whether or not to forgive someone. There are so many situations that we can put into this dilemma, what really matters is the end result.

Forgiveness is always the best alternative because it is what gives us the option to heal our emotional wounds, continue our life without carrying the heavy burden of hatred, resentment, anger and negative thoughts that affect us both psychologically and physically.

Forgiveness is a choice that we choose ourselves and to reach it we must go through a process.



You might be depressed without knowing why, until you discover the cause, hidden for years or just for hours. We must confront our inner rage, shame and hurt. Sometimes the wound can be so painful that we develop amnesia. We are unable to identify the events that make us feel bad. We only know that we feel anger, sadness, lack of motivation, anxiety, without knowing why. In these cases we might need professional help to identify the causes and events.


On the physical level, we can have a pain in our legs, but the cause may be a nerve caught in the spine. Going through a surgery on your leg could be the wrong procedure.  A wife may feel pain every time her husband discipline their children. However, the  pain she feels may originate in her own emotional wounds as a child. We must recognize the source of the wound, and discover the emotions involved. Time alone does not heal wounds. It is therefore important to locate and separate from each painful experience.

Choosing Forgiveness:

To achieve this we must clean the wound. If you get a deep wound in your hand and let it open, eventually it will become infected. The emotional damage can become an open wound where you can enter resentment, anger, bitterness, depression and anxiety. Although there might be basics for the anger and revenge, we do not  choose that,  we choose to forgive. And this not necessary needs to be based on religious reasons, but also for self-preservation, this will do you well both psychologically and physically.


There may be a tendency to focus our thoughts on the event or person that caused the damage. We must find a new way of thinking about these events or person who has wronged us. When we do, we usually find in the other person a vulnerable being, probably with injuries and wounds too.

“Forgiveness allows us to get rid of everything we have withstand and to move forward. You remember the cold of the winter, but no longer tremble because spring has arrived “

“We must free ourselves from the domain that people who have hurt us still exert upon us by our hatred. Forgiveness frees our memory and allows us to live in the present, without constant recurrence to painful past. If we hold on to rage for an offense, if we plan to take revenge for an insult, if  hate stays in our soul, the other continues offending us day by day, dragging us to a greater evil “ Dr. Rafael Monserrate

One of the things the Life Coaching can help you achieve is reconciled with the feeling of forgiveness. If you are carrying any pain or resentment over pains from the past, if you need to forgive or ask forgiveness, I can help you free yourself of that heavy load. Request your free 30 minute call

Originally published on my blog Other $ 20 Pesos

“Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling, because when we forgive we no longer feel the offense and no longer feel resentment. Forgive, by forgiving you’ll have your soul in peace and so will have it who offended you “– Mother Teresa of Calcutta



Leave a Reply